Who is supporting you?

by Anne O'Connor

How do you think about psychotherapy?

Therapists are trained to provide what is most fundamental to human relationships:

• Building a genuine connection
• Having high regard for the human in front of us
• Being non-judgmental

But we also need to:

• Hear their perspective
• See the context of their lives
• Affirm their feelings
• Ask questions that will support their growth and self-knowledge
• Make visible and explicit what is obscured or hidden
• Help the client to create and sustain healthier patterns
• Use evidence-based solutions that work
• Clarify purpose and direction
• Recognize and celebrate their progress

There are as many ways to accomplish these things as there are people.

Fortunately, therapy is more accessible than ever. Telehealth, popularized during the Covid pandemic, has changed the field.

And now, therapy is covered by insurance.

Did you know that it wasn’t always the case? It wasn’t until 2008 that insurance companies were required to cover mental health issues with the same level of coverage as physical health issues.

Today is National Psychotherapy Day—a day to remember that getting help for how we struggle and navigate is wise and important.

There are thousands of ways to be in therapy—because there are thousands of kinds of therapists.

Yes—there are important and serious guardrails. We have:

• Standards and best practices
• Evidence-based solutions
• Codes of ethics
• Licensing and education requirements
• Boards that monitor and oversee compliance
• Supervision and consultation groups
• On-going training and education

But the actual thing that happens in a room between the client and the therapist? Well, that’s different for everyone. Because therapists are people and people have their ways.

So it’s critical that therapists develop who they want to be as a practitioner and keep honing their practices.

And as important that people who seek out therapy understand that finding the right therapist for them can be process. I tell people finding a therapist:

• Give the relationship—that’s what you’re building—at least three sessions.
• But if the therapist says something egregious in the first session, keep looking.
• Remember that you have as much to do with the success of the work as they do.
• Be engaged both in and out of the session.

I’m a coachy kind of psychotherapist. I was a group coach for years before getting my psychotherapy degree. And I love group coaching, which I still provide.

Truth is, I got my therapy degree so I could coach people better. I kept having to refer to a therapist just when we were getting to the nub of their issues. So, I went back to school and got my degree.

Now, my practice is always full to bursting, my clients make great progress, and they are often surprised by the way I do things. Because even with clients who live with severe mental illness, I expect them to make progress and to have a better time in this life. I want them to thrive in new ways and I’ve seen that they can and do.

And for people who are well and need support through life’s transitions, or want to get better at their relationships, or how they come to their work or figure out why they feel a little stuck and unclear about what they’re doing here? We do that too.

All of this to say, that if you have an idea that therapy is strictly about being mentally ill and mental illness to you means that you can’t function the way you want to in life, I want to expand your understanding of getting support.

I’ve always thought that we need each other to do better in this life. And sometimes, paying someone who is good at helping just makes sense.

Especially after the global pandemic and the social justice uprising of recent years, most of us are stretched and need a little more:

• Support
• Attention
• Kind reflection to refocus on what we’re building for our lives.

Psychotherapists, with their training and experience, can provide so many ways to give that kind of support. If you’ve tried therapy and haven’t found it to your taste, know that there are lots of kinds of therapists and ways of approaching support.

Sometimes, we all need a helpful someone to walk beside us for a bit.

What’s your experience with therapy?

Will you ♻️share ♻️ this to help destigmatize therapy?